Home Witty Captions

Witty Captions

70 Best Witty Captions For Instagram (2021 Update)

Witty Captions for Instagram

I had fun once, it was horrible.
I may look calm, but in my mind, I have killed you three times.
You never know what you have until you clean your room.
Of curse, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
I stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.
He stole my heart so I’m planning revenge… I am going to take his last name.
You’re just like bacon, beer, and chocolate – you make everything better.
With great power comes great electricity bills!
I can’t clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find!
How do I feel without coffee? Depresso!
I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot todo.
Tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
Don’t know where the kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they’ll show up quickly.
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.
Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.
Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it.
If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
I don’t want to be in a relationship, I would rather be in a Range Rover.
The best way to look younger, hang out with older people.
Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.
If I was funny, I’d have a better Instagram caption for this.